Frayed
by Niss Trah
Summary: Following the events of Threads, Sam tries to deal with heartache. Sam/Jack centric, as usual!
1. Chapter 1

Hello all! Sorry for my long absence. Life's been busy. I hope you enjoy this tag to "Threads". I've been pretty nervous about posting it because Threads is such an important episode. Please let me know what you think.

As always, thanks to wackyjacqs for her wonderful Beta work. Catch up on her stories also!

Frayed

In her lab, Sam Carter paced anxiously. General O'Neill had practically forced her into some down time after her father's death, and here she was, only two days later. Sam knew it wouldn't be long before O'Neill discovered she was back at work and was already regretting showing up so soon. She knew he'd be annoyed at her and tell her she needed time away from work. When he'd first voiced those thoughts, she'd agreed, her heart weighed down by her dad's death. She'd wanted to go home, and knew she wouldn't be able to handle being in the place where she'd reconnected with her father.

Then, she was home, in an empty house, where the silence swiftly suffocated her. She couldn't handle being there either, forced to dwell on the fact that Jacob Carter was gone. There would be no miraculous cure from an alien species this time. He was forever departed from her life, and she'd never felt more alone.

On the first night at home, Sam had gone as far as dialing most of her brother's number before hanging up the phone. She'd already told him of their dad's recent death, and had promised to call again to talk more. But, he'd be there in just a few days with his family for the funeral, so she'd put down the phone. She and Mark weren't all that close anymore, and she had no idea what to say to him. Though a part of her was glad they were coming, she knew things would be tense with her brother. Though Mark and Jacob had reconciled, Sam knew he was now hurt that she and their Dad shared something that Mark couldn't be a part of, which only solidified his anger with the Air Force. So, she'd locked her doors, pulled down the shades and proceeded to wallow in her grief.

In a moment of pure, raw need, she had almost called Pete to come over and comfort her. She knew he'd be in the Springs until he could get transferred back to Denver, so it had tempted her. Sam knew she didn't really love him the way she should have, but they'd become comfortable, and she missed that. Though she'd finally realized that Pete was not the man for her, he'd been good to her. She'd had a life on this side of the Stargate for the first time since she'd been clued into its existence. Pete had been her opportunity to just be Sam again, but she couldn't marry the man when her only reason was to have a normal life. She knew she'd made the right decision in ending things. So, tempting as it was, she'd refrained from calling his familiar number. It had been hard, especially when she couldn't call the person she really wanted for comfort.

Sam had then considered calling O'Neill for a brief, desperate moment. Then, she was back in his yard, gaping at the woman coming out of his house, holding a bowl like she'd held it hundreds of times before. That had completely squelched her desire to speak with him. He'd obviously moved on, and she really had no right to expect him not to. She'd been engaged to another man after all.

Sam shook off her thoughts, knowing she really couldn't let them stray in that direction here on the base. She knew now, that nothing was going to change and she forced her feelings for a certain obstinate General back into that dark and dank corner of her heart, where they'd been festering for years. She would just have to learn to live with the pain of loving a man she could never have. Sam turned in relief when she heard Teal'c's voice at her door.

"Colonel Carter. We were informed you had returned. Are you well?" As she faced the door, Sam saw Daniel standing next to Teal'c and she smiled in relief to see them.

"Hey guys. Yeah, I'm ok. I just didn't want to be at home…dwelling…you know?" She shrugged, and looked at them, praying that neither one of them would want to delve any further into her feelings. Her relief grew when Teal'c nodded his head to her and Daniel plopped down into one of her chairs. The now twice descended man smiled at her.

"Sure Sam, that makes sense. I get not wanting to be alone." She watched as he paused and seemed to be preparing to continue. Sam flicked her gaze between the two men and arched an elegant eyebrow in question. At this, Teal'c brought a hand from behind his back and handed her a folder.

"The funeral arrangements you requested our assistance with Colonel Carter." Sam glanced down at the black folder, absently noticing that it was an appropriate color. She slid her thumb over the smooth surface.

"Oh. Well, thanks guys. I appreciate all you're doing. You know, Mark is too far away to get it planned in time, and with that whole Anubis thing that happened…I just didn't have much time." Sam bit back the tears she could feel welling in her eyes and looked up to see that Daniel had risen and was standing before her. At his look of complete understanding and compassion, she couldn't hold them in. Before even a few tears had graced her cheeks, Daniel had gathered her in his arms and she clutched at his jacket, the black folder falling to the floor. Sam cried silently on Daniel's shoulder and he simply held her until she was done. As she pulled away and wiped the remnants of her emotion away, Daniel stooped down and retrieved the forgotten folder. He set it on her lab table and grasped one of her trembling hands in his strong and steady ones.

"I know you probably don't want to deal with the details, but there are some numbers in there for you to call, and a few decisions to be made." When she nodded and gave a reassuring smile, he continued. "There's also a form in there that you need to fill out and give to the guys at the front entrance. It's Pete's clearance to come on base for the Tok'ra ceremony. I know he'll probably be at the funeral, but we figured he should be with you for the ceremony here too. Jack says you just need to fill it out and attach it to his original non-disclosure agre…"

"Daniel, stop." Sam held up a hand and halted his explanations. At his questioning look, she reluctantly explained.

"Pete's not coming. I broke up with him." She almost laughed when Daniel's mouth fell open and his hands dropped hers back to her side.

"What?! Ah…oh..Ummm. I'm really sorry Sam. Are you ok? Ah…why…well. I mean. Why'd you break up with him? Can I ask that?" He looked nervous about his questions and Sam decided to pull both men into the fold.

"Thanks Daniel. I am ok. It was the right thing to do, you know? I just realized that Pete is NOT who I want to spend my life with. He's great and lots of fun, but I can't marry him." She was glad when Teal'c spoke, knowing his comments would come out perfectly.

"Although I am not surprised Colonel Carter, I would like to inquire as to what has brought about this change in you." Sam rose her eyebrows at the first part of Teal'c's sentence, but then shrugged inwardly. She was pretty sure they both knew what she was about to tell them.

"I can't marry Pete because I'm in love with someone else. I just realized I needed to stop pretending I'm not." She herself wasn't surprised when Daniel bit back a grin.

"And this someone else, Sam? I don't suppose it's anyone we know. Like maybe a sarcastic, obnoxious, childlike man with eternally messed up hair?!" Even as she rolled her eyes at Daniel and blushed at his comment, she was relieved that they barreled over her news about Pete and moved on. Daniel must have noticed her blushing, because suddenly she was back in his arms, but this time he was hugging her excitedly and she heard him mutter 'Finally!' over her shoulder. She caught Teal'c's eye behind Daniel, and they exchanged a look that needed no words. Daniel apparently hadn't gotten the memo that the General was dating someone. As if his ears were burning, the General's familiar form appeared at the doorway.

"Hey kids! What's happening?" He leaned casually against the doorframe, but as Daniel let her go, grinned at her and turned to greet O'Neill, Sam saw the concern etched onto the General's face. Concern for her.

"Hey Jack. Nothing's happening really. We were just giving Sam the funeral stuff and we realized that she doesn't need ALL of those papers anymore." Sam gaped in astonishment as Daniel bulldozed through the conversation. He turned to the once more forgotten folder and pulled out the form that had been for Pete's clearance. "Since you don't need this clearance form, Sam, I'll just go shred it." She continued to gape as Daniel almost skipped out of her lab, smacking O'Neill on the shoulder as he bounded by.

The three friends left stood silently contemplating Daniel's uncharacteristic exit. It was several moments before O'Neill broke the silence.

"So…are we COMPLETELY sure that they put him back together correctly this time? I think he's losing a little in translation." When he spoke of 'they', the General waved his hand in the air above him and Sam snorted in amusement. Teal'c merely cocked his head to the side and began to exit himself.

"I will determine Daniel Jackson's location and…accompany him." Sam gave an awkward wave and turned to the General. Now that the comic moment had passed, she was utterly unprepared to face him. She decided to attempt a normal conversation, hoping that he hadn't heard too much before he'd entered her lab.

"So, Sir. What can I do for you? I know I'm not supposed to be back yet, but I'd really rather take care of the funeral details here and get some work done too. It was making me sad to be at home all alone and I just needed to be at work an.."

"Ach! Carter! It's fine. I kinda figured you wouldn't last long. Stop defending yourself. I'm not mad. And what do you mean alone? Wasn't Shanahan availab…" Sam watched in horror as a light came on in his eyes. "That's what Daniel meant about you not needing the form huh?" Sam grimaced in response, cursing the fact that he had picked this moment to quickly catch on instead of acting clueless to his surroundings. He seemed to be waiting for an answer and she opened her mouth to explain, wishing with every part of her that she could tell him this and have him be free also. Before she could speak, he beat her to it.

"Kerry dumped me." At her look of incredulity, he continued and she could actually feel the pain in her heart receding. "She said I have issues. Well, mostly just one. And anyway, it wasn't serious or anything. Just you know…someone to spend time with…" He awkwardly stopped talking and Sam decided to go for gold.

"What did she say that one issue is?" She nervously looked into his eyes, and gasped at the depth of feeling he was showing her. In a quieter and huskier voice than she'd ever heard from him, he answered.

"I'm in love with someone else…" He paused when she sucked in a breath, and just when she was starting to think maybe she wasn't that someone else, he spoke.

"I'm in love with YOU."

_**TBC in Chapter 2! Coming in two days. Thanks for reading. Hope you're enjoying : )**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys, thanks so much for all the lovely reviews for Chapter 1! I'm sorry I didn't actually post this earlier. I ended up sick for several days this week. So, I hope you like this update. One more chapter after this._

_Again, much thanks goes to wackyjaqcs for her Beta work! Without her, my stories would not turn out as well _

_Onto the story…._

Chapter 2

Sam shifted from one foot to the other, hoping no one noticed the movement. She was standing in the gate room in a sort of receiving line for several Tok'ra who had come to pay respects to her dad. They all wanted to say something about Jacob and Selmak and her jaw was getting sore from clenching her teeth and forcing a smile. Most of these Tok'ra were on the council and her dad had informed her of which ones opposed him and Selmak. They'd been completely cold to her father in life and were now pretending they hadn't been with his death.

Just as Sam was about to snap at the woman speaking to her, she felt a warm hand on her arm. She turned and met the General's eyes and he motioned with his head toward the hallway. At her slight nod, he quickly and without apology, excused them both and ushered her out of the gate room, and gently pulled her into a small storage alcove.

While Sam stood at attention before him, clenching her fists so tight she could feel her nails digging in, the General came around and leaned against the wall, put his hands in his pockets and just looked at her. She stared back at him, expecting him to comment on her abrupt treatment of the Tok'ra delegation, but he just looked at her. His chocolate eyes bore into her like he was looking straight into her soul and she felt somehow lighter with every passing moment. Her emotions had been all over the place today and she felt off kilter, but his calm and silent support was helping center her. Finally, Jack pulled one hand out of a pocket and gestured vaguely to her hands and spoke.

"At ease, huh? You're gonna make your hands sore." He tilted his head to the side and smirked at her and she had a sudden vision of Cassie's dog when he was just a puppy, looking at humans quizzically with his head tilted and one ear cocked up in the air. She couldn't suppress the desperate giggle that escaped and O'Neill only reinforced the vision by lifting his eyebrows in confusion. To Sam's horror, it didn't make her laugh harder, but she gasped as her tears began to fall. At his look of surprise, she swiped heavily at her wet cheeks and tried to apologize.

"I'm sorry Sir…I just.. I don't know what…I…I can't…" Sam sucked in air deeply and tried to control her emotions, but found herself unable to regain focus and felt like she was drowning. Her chest felt tight and the quiet of the concrete hallway roared in her ears. Sam felt herself swaying but couldn't stop it and she vaguely felt a weight around her shoulders and she felt herself moving.

Soon, she was stopped and the weight on her shoulders remained and warmed her. She could hear someone telling her to breathe deeply and finally focused her eyes on the voice in front of her. There stood Jack O'Neill, and before Sam had time to be horrified, he had captured her face in both hands and tilted her head up. He swiped his thumbs gently over her remaining tears and spoke in a surprisingly soothing voice.

"Sam, take deep breaths. I'm here, you're fine. We'll get through this." As she met his eyes, the same loving ones that had told her not two hours ago that he was in love with her, she regretted that they hadn't been able to finish that conversation. Before she'd been able to respond in kind, the klaxons had sounded and the Tok'ra delegation took priority. They had headed for the gate room while she tried to grasp that Jack O'Neill had actually said he loved her. She hadn't had much time to process and as she resurfaced from her emotional meltdown, she was suddenly very aware of how close they were and that he was gazing at her the way she'd only ever fantasized about. Sam's heart began to thunder in her chest and she was sure he would hear it beating wildly. But he only smiled at her and asked,

"Y'okay?" At her slight nod he continued. "What happened just now?"

"I don't…I ahh…panicked?" She shrugged at him helplessly and when he quirked one eyebrow at her in perfect Teal'c fashion as if to say 'No kidding', she shrugged again, darting her eyes toward the walls of the office she suddenly realized he had led her to. When she was able to again look him in the eye, she realized that he still had her face captured in both hands and was lightly running one thumb across her cheek. In that instant, Sam had the overwhelming urge to run in the opposite direction, so accustomed to ignoring the shivers currently running down her spine. But her father's words came to her and she sent him a silent message of thanks and mustered up the last of her strength. Sam brought one had up to wrap around Jack's wrist and spoke softly.

"I'm not panicking anymore." Her comment stopped the movements of Jack's thumb abruptly and he stared into her eyes with an expression she couldn't decipher on his face. He seemed to be processing something as she watched his eyes go through a range of emotions. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse and he had to clear his throat twice before continuing.

"Sam, about…I mean…about earlier, in your lab…" Sam watched as Jack lowered his eyes and his hands slid slowly down and rested on her neck. He looked back up and continued. "I shouldn't have put that on you right now. I know you're dealing with a lot, with Dad…and Daniel and the Tok'ra being…well…Tok'ra. We can just forget about it alright? It's not a big deal." She felt suddenly bereft when his hands left her skin and she watched as he clenched them into fists, her own hand falling uselessly to her side from where she'd had it wrapped around his wrist.

Sam took a step forward and opened her mouth to tell him that she didn't want to forget it, but Jack turned away and spoke as he opened the door of the small office.

"We should get back to the Tok'ra. If you need a few more minutes, feel free to take them." He didn't even look back as he started through the doorway. Sam panicked, knowing if she let him leave, they would go back to ignoring the elephant in the room, so she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

"I love you."

She gasped, surprising herself with what came out. But she sighed in relief when Jack paused in the doorway and smacked one hand against the frame and turned back to her slowly. He stared at her once again and she was unsure how he was going to react. She began to panic again when he just kept staring, thinking absurdly that he had gazed at her more today than in probably the last 8 years combined. Sam convinced herself, as moments passed in silence, that he was going to take back everything he said in her lab, imagining him saying that it was all the stress they were going through.

She was therefore, utterly flabbergasted when Jack suddenly had her pulled flush against his body and was kissing her…passionately.

The shivers down her spine returned and butterflies broke free in her stomach. When he kept kissing her, she realized she could respond and clutched at the back of his jacket with one hand and threaded her other through the hair at the back of his head, noting absently how much softer it was than she had ever imagined. She moaned into the kiss when Jack ran his hands down her back and pulled her even closer and gasped when he thrust one leg between hers. She could feel herself spiraling out of control, but responded wholeheartedly to something she had fantasized about for years. She wanted this more than her next breath.

As Sam sank into his embrace and responded to the heated kiss, she didn't notice footsteps coming near and they didn't surface until a throat cleared…loudly.

"Ah…guys?"

_TBC in Chapter 3, coming later today or tomorrow! Thanks again for reading : )_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey guys! THANK YOU, THANK YOU for reading, following and reviewing! I'm so glad you are liking this story, and I hope you like the ending! **_

_**Thanks again to wackyjacqs for being my Beta!**_

_**Onto the ending!**_

Chapter 3

Sam stood before her father's casket, clutching the flag she'd received only minutes before. She could still hear the haunting taps melody playing in her mind and her fingers clenched around the edges of the flag, wrinkling the perfect creases made to honor Jacob Carter. She'd been fine through the ceremony, standing with her blood family on one side and her chosen family on the other. Surrounded by the people she loved, she had felt strong and at peace. But when her father's casket was lowered into the ground, Sam felt an unexpected rush of tears and now she stood, staring at that mahogany box, trying not imagine Jacob's body lying in it, ready to decompose and be forgotten in a field filled with dozens of other soldiers.

Sam's brother had surprisingly understood her need for solitude, and Mark now stood with his family speaking softly with Daniel, who, as always, knew what to say and how to say it. Sam noticed absently that Teal'c was still standing nearby doing a good impression of a bodyguard, his quiet strength calming her churning emotions.

She took a few deep cleansing breaths and unclenched her hands. She stared down through watery eyes at the colors she'd always fought for, and wished she could tell the world what Jacob Carter had REALLY done for his country and planet. Sam smiled through her tears when a small bird landed atop the still unburied casket and began to chirp softly. When she saw a shadow fall next to hers her smile grew. He stood next to her silently, but somehow, said everything she needed to hear. She turned her face to Jack and when his eyes met hers, the last of her fear and despair floated away.

Sam reached over and gently squeezed Jack's arm in gratitude and then leaned down to throw a handful of dirt onto the casket, and spoke as she watched the little bird fly away; chirping merrily.

"Goodbye Dad."

She turned to Jack and he gently laid his hand at the small of her back as they walked toward the rest of the group. He stopped them before they reached their friends and spoke softly, gazing into her eyes, his radiating love.

"You doin' ok?"

"Yeah. I think I am. I miss him, you know? But I'm doing well. I know I got extra time with him, and I'm so grateful for that." She said it in a rush, and smiled helplessly when, despite her words, tears began to run down her face again. Sam gasped softly when Jack's hands took hers and he stroked his thumbs softly across her skin.

"You have every right to miss him. Don't ever feel bad for shedding tears for him. Your father was a great man Samantha. I was proud to have him in my life and know him as a friend. He lived and died a hero. Don't ever forget that."

Jack's quiet, but sure words left her speechless. She had always known that he liked her father, but she had never seen the respect and admiration Jack was now showing for a man that he often bickered with and grumbled about. She smiled at him through her tears and tried to respond.

"Thank you. That means….I just…thank you Sir…" at his mock frown, she amended her choice of words almost in a whisper.

"Thank you, Jack."

Jack's chocolate eyes twinkled back at her when she used his name. He dropped one of her hands and brought it up to rest on her cheek. She nervously smiled again and flicked her eyes toward the group of people standing nearby. She knew his intent was to kiss her. That look in his eyes matched the one of the few stolen moments they'd had the last two days. Every kiss left her aching for more, but they'd never found more than a moment here and there since Daniel had awkwardly interrupted them. She brought her now free hand up to his chest and halfheartedly tried to keep distance between them.

"Ja…." Her voice came out hoarse and thread sounding and she cleared her throat "Jack, General Hammond is here." Sam whispered the warning, but he didn't heed it. Jack's face inched closer to hers and just before his lips met hers, he whispered back.

"Who cares?"

Sam melted into the kiss as soon as their lips met. She forgot about her dad, about Daniel, and about General Hammond standing not 15 feet away. The things this man did to her insides. A shiver ran down her spine and her stomach flipped as they continued to kiss in the cemetery. Just as Sam was about to wrap her arms around Jack's neck though, he pulled away at the sound of a throat too obviously clearing. With a soft groan, he rested his forehead briefly on hers. She heard him suck in a ragged breath before he lifted his head and looked into her eyes again. He searched her eyes and asked softly,

"Daniel, right?" At her nod he shook his head in exasperation and turned toward Daniel and stared the younger man down. Sam knew they'd bicker about Daniel's second interruption later.

The abrupt departure from the kiss had her head still reeling a bit and she gazed back at him in a slight daze when he turned back to her. She closed her eyes and laughed softly at his next words though and felt her equilibrium return.

"Well…" he cleared his throat "this may have not been the best place to do that." Jack chuckled at her own laughter and they simultaneously separated and began walking again, a respectable distance between them. At least physically. Emotionally, Sam had never felt closer to him and she sent another quiet thank you out to her father, for making her face her fear and seize the moment with Jack.

They soon approached the group and Sam was immediately embraced warmly by her brother, who then pulled back and flicked his eyes questioningly toward Jack. Sam just smiled and mouthed "later" at him. She hugged Mark again when he simply nodded in agreement, only curiosity in his eyes instead of the judgment she'd been expecting. Nice!

They all spoke softly for a few minutes, making last minute plans to head over to Sam's for a simple lunch and dispersed, Sam receiving hugs from Cassie and Daniel; though his hug was sheepish and he smiled nervously at her, glancing briefly toward Jack, who only glared at him in stony silence. Daniel through up his hands in defeat and stalked off toward his car. Sam then received a strong yet gentle hug from Teal'c.

Soon, only herself, Jack and General Hammond still stood on the grass, a slight drizzle starting to come down on them. Sam felt her eyes well up again when General Hammond hugged her close as though she were precious cargo.

"It was my honor serving with Jacob, Sam. He was a good man and a good friend to me. I will never forget him." Sam nodded in thanks, unable to speak with this man speaking to her in such humble admiration of her father. Her stomach clenched however, at Hammond's next words.

"I see you two have made a change in your relationship." When Sam could only gape at him, Jack answered.

"Yes Sir, we have." With Jack sounding so confident, Sam's own confidence returned and she smiled over at the man she'd loved for 8 years and looked back at Hammond even as Jack's hand tangled with hers between them. Her shoulders dropped in relief though, when Hammond simply smiled and placed a hand on each of their shoulders.

"I'm glad to hear it. I had hoped it wouldn't take you two much longer to finally be on the same page."

Their faces must have shown their astonishment, because Hammond began to chuckle. He held up a hand to stall Sam's response.

"I know, you both probably thought that you'd be court martialed, but I've known about you two for quite some time, as did Jacob." He laughed again when Sam's jaw dropped open. She knew her father had always suspected about her feelings or Jack, and she wasn't surprised that Hammond knew, but that they would talk about it never occurred to her.

"Jacob and I spoke to the President over a year ago, and asked that if you two ever wanted to pursue a more…intimate relationship, that you be able to do so without penalty. You both deserve so much more than we've been able to offer you. Please accept my congratulations and my wishes for a wonderful life together." Hammond nodded to them, obviously uncomfortable with his words and walked sedately toward his vehicle.

Silence reigned as they watched Hammond retreat. As the rain began to fall harder, Jack once again led Sam gently away and toward his truck. Once inside, he started the truck but then dropped his hands back to his lap and stared out the windshield, the rain coming down hard now, obstructing their view. Sam was about to say something when he finally turned to her and gave her a lopsided smile.

"Well, that was….surprising." A giggle bubbled out of her and he pointed a finger at her.

"We've talked about this Samantha. NO giggling." When she nodded while holding in another giggle, the finger pointing at her turned and tugged her chin forward. Jack planted a sweet and soft kiss on her smiling lips and tangled one hand in hers again.

"You ready?" he asked her and she saw in his eyes that his question wasn't about the coming memorial lunch, but about their future together. As they drove away from the cemetery, Sam could almost see Jacob looking down on them with a smile on his face. As the last frayed threads of her heart were mended, she gave Jack the only appropriate answer.

"Always."

_**THE END!**_

_**Thanks so much for joining me on this story! I hope I did Threads some justice here. I still need closure on Sam and Jack and it helps to write it the way I see it playing out! **_


End file.
